I used to worry. A lot.
I would worry about my future, worry about past mistakes, and even worry about my friends. I started noticing that I was worrying all the time and it drained my energy and made me think I was going through depression or something. Luckily, I cannot STAND having any negative emotions and so I came up with ways to resolve these worries immediately.
So I started analyzing each worry on its own and found a solution for each.
How I stopped worrying:
- Mistakes at work: I made a few mistakes in my first 3 months at my new job, and each mistake would be brought up in the weekly team meeting (I had certain bad habits which were formed during my previous job and it took time to retrain myself). After I got home, I put my work phone away. Each time I started to think about a mistake I made, I would imagine my coworkers or managers smiling and laughing with their family over dinner – basically recognizing the fact that no one else was thinking about my mistake except for myself. That one really helped me let things go and move on to do better.
- An argument with a friend: I had an argument with my friend one day that caused both of us a lot of stress especially because I am not the type to cause strife with anyone. I immediately cleared the air afterwards and sent a lengthy text, apologizing for my behaviour and showing my understanding towards his/her perspective. I find that talking about the problem is usually the best stress-reliever for me. Also, it helps you become vulnerable, open, and compassionate. Love and compassion helps us heal ourselves and each other!
- Worrying about a friend: One of my best friends was going through a terrible break up. For 1 month, I was by her side and respond to her as quickly as possible whenever she ever needed me. We went over the same problems over and over and no matter what advice I gave, she still had hopes that the relationship might go back to how it used to be. I learned that no matter what I said, she was never going to listen to anyone else because only she knew her relationship the best. Instead of constantly trying to persuade her to see differently and getting frustrated, I learned to just be there for her, in the most caring way possible, without forcing her to change her perspective. Eventually she figured it out herself and her realizations were the exact same as what I had been trying to tell her. But there was nothing I could’ve done to speed up her recovery, all I could/did do was love my friend and let her know I’m here.
- Worrying in general: Basically, just try to understand that worrying contributes to nothing. It only exists in your head. If you do not worry, then the situation will not be as bad as it seems. You’ll notice that there is nothing you can do but keep living your life. You only have the present moment and can only control what you do right now (you can’t change the past or fully control the future).
I hope that this post actually helps out someone out there – if you want me to elaborate on any of the tips above, then please send me an email. I’d love to help you out!